The response to my article about being really ready for love was absolutely astounding. So many people are resonating with this topic, that I wanted to share a few of their comments.(Please read that first article before continuing on here.DE)
"I love it! Yes, a person Really has to be Ready, "within", for love.."
"David. This is great & thanks for sharing. So many people can truly learn from these words to help them in the relationship area of life."
"I completely relate to this story, I am 100% aware of letting my past debris behind, by putting myself in the healing process right now."
My client who I wrote about in the first article, could not agree more with these comments.
"David , reading these remarks has put a huge smile on my face. Before, I was projecting out into the world, that all of my problems in love were due to the men I had selected.
Yes, a very ego driven thought. But a true one. I did not want to accept responsibility, I just wanted to be in love. When it was not working it had to be "them". Through our work together, I am seeing my role, I am slowing down, I am looking at the patterns that I have fallen into. Through the writing exercises we do, I am actually healing.
Every day, my resentments against men is lessening. My desire to trust, just for the sake of trusting, something I never even wanted to do is becoming a real possibility. And yes, even though I don't fully want to, i've taken myself out of the dating world. And honestly, the pressure to be with someone is getting less and less each day. I'm so glad my story is helping other people, but most importantly, me and my children. In deep gratitude, Kathie"
For every single person in the world today, the message is the same. Become real with yourself, honest, and examine your feelings about men and women, present and past. Let's all get on the healing path together.
Slow down.
Love, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Elusive love due to childhood events: Abandonment
It's amazing how many of us struggle in our search for love, due to our inability to release events that happened during our childhood.Many events that surround abandonment. For many, it may not even be because we have not tried to let the past go, but simply due to the fact that we have no idea that a traumatic event even occurred.
A number of years ago I worked with an amazing therapist on this very issue. As we examined my love relationships,and discussed patterns and events that repeated themselves with several women I had dated, she went into a meditative state and came out of it with an intuitive sense that something traumatic happened to me around the age of three. She had sensed that I may have been left alone somewhere for a long time, like at a school, and sat by myself wondering if someone was ever going to pick me up. Or, it could have been something physical that made me feel unloved, or unlovable.
Now for the life of me I could not remember, or imagine anything traumatic occurring. Some people have a faint memory of being molested, others recall their parents divorce, but I could not link anything in my childhood to a feeling of abuse or neglect, that might make me feel fearful of abandonment or non trusting of women, or men in life. Yet, the patterns we were looking at that had occurred in my relationships were leading us to believe something serious had occurred.
The therapist recommended that I contact my parents, and ask them if anything traumatic happened, or something that might feel like a "traumatic" event to a young boy, around the ages of when I was 3-6. The results were astounding.
My father recalled the day my younger brother was being born, and the doctor came out and told my dad that there were major complications in the delivery, and that he had to choose to save my brother, or my moms life. My dad went into a minor shock as you can imagine, and finally told the doctor to do whatever he had to to save them both.
Hours later, they were able to save them both, but my brother was very ill for the first 6 months or more of his life. During this time, my mothers full focus was on him, first at the hospital, then at home. As the therapist and I continued to work together, my fears of deep intimacy with women were being manhandled and exaggerated by the fact that I was afraid I would be left, either emotionally or physically again, as I was at the age of three.
You see, as that 3 year old little boy, all I knew was that my mom was not around, physically at first, and then emotionally. I did not have the capacity to understand that she was doing the very best she could. All that I knew was that when life gets stressful, women you love leave.
What an amazing breakthrough!! To see that my desire for intimacy had always been so high, but my fears of the past repeating itself was also extremely high!
The first step, as always , is to learn to fully love ourselves. To forgive the little boy in us, the little girl in us, for their fears. For the trauma they experienced. We need to be able to discuss this with a minister, coach, or therapist to get to the bottom of what happened, then most importantly, to surround that little person, who is still with us today, with unconditional love.
As I write about this experience, I can feel myself at 3, wondering where mommy is? I don't see her that much these days, did I do something wrong? Does she still love me? Why is she always with the baby? Why doesn't she spend as much time with me as before?
The child within wants so desperately to be held, and when we're not, even for very good reasons, we shrivel, go within, and lose our ability to love, to trust.
Before, when I had a struggle in a relationship with a woman, I'd subconsciously wonder when she would leave me too. I may even have chosen women that would leave me at the sign of stress, proving my childhood fears to be true. Women, if you love them, will leave you.
Thanks to this awareness, I can bravely walk into love, feel my childhood fears, discuss them, and let them go. I can be open without fear of rejection, and walk the path of love over and over. Every time, learning more about the importance of staying present, even in the fear.
Slow down. If you see patterns in love, get the help you need, now.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
A number of years ago I worked with an amazing therapist on this very issue. As we examined my love relationships,and discussed patterns and events that repeated themselves with several women I had dated, she went into a meditative state and came out of it with an intuitive sense that something traumatic happened to me around the age of three. She had sensed that I may have been left alone somewhere for a long time, like at a school, and sat by myself wondering if someone was ever going to pick me up. Or, it could have been something physical that made me feel unloved, or unlovable.
Now for the life of me I could not remember, or imagine anything traumatic occurring. Some people have a faint memory of being molested, others recall their parents divorce, but I could not link anything in my childhood to a feeling of abuse or neglect, that might make me feel fearful of abandonment or non trusting of women, or men in life. Yet, the patterns we were looking at that had occurred in my relationships were leading us to believe something serious had occurred.
The therapist recommended that I contact my parents, and ask them if anything traumatic happened, or something that might feel like a "traumatic" event to a young boy, around the ages of when I was 3-6. The results were astounding.
My father recalled the day my younger brother was being born, and the doctor came out and told my dad that there were major complications in the delivery, and that he had to choose to save my brother, or my moms life. My dad went into a minor shock as you can imagine, and finally told the doctor to do whatever he had to to save them both.
Hours later, they were able to save them both, but my brother was very ill for the first 6 months or more of his life. During this time, my mothers full focus was on him, first at the hospital, then at home. As the therapist and I continued to work together, my fears of deep intimacy with women were being manhandled and exaggerated by the fact that I was afraid I would be left, either emotionally or physically again, as I was at the age of three.
You see, as that 3 year old little boy, all I knew was that my mom was not around, physically at first, and then emotionally. I did not have the capacity to understand that she was doing the very best she could. All that I knew was that when life gets stressful, women you love leave.
What an amazing breakthrough!! To see that my desire for intimacy had always been so high, but my fears of the past repeating itself was also extremely high!
The first step, as always , is to learn to fully love ourselves. To forgive the little boy in us, the little girl in us, for their fears. For the trauma they experienced. We need to be able to discuss this with a minister, coach, or therapist to get to the bottom of what happened, then most importantly, to surround that little person, who is still with us today, with unconditional love.
As I write about this experience, I can feel myself at 3, wondering where mommy is? I don't see her that much these days, did I do something wrong? Does she still love me? Why is she always with the baby? Why doesn't she spend as much time with me as before?
The child within wants so desperately to be held, and when we're not, even for very good reasons, we shrivel, go within, and lose our ability to love, to trust.
Before, when I had a struggle in a relationship with a woman, I'd subconsciously wonder when she would leave me too. I may even have chosen women that would leave me at the sign of stress, proving my childhood fears to be true. Women, if you love them, will leave you.
Thanks to this awareness, I can bravely walk into love, feel my childhood fears, discuss them, and let them go. I can be open without fear of rejection, and walk the path of love over and over. Every time, learning more about the importance of staying present, even in the fear.
Slow down. If you see patterns in love, get the help you need, now.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Are you really ready for love?
( My client Kathie from the West Coast enthusiastically gave me permission to print her story, as she begins her path to self love and healing. DE)
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone after I had asked my client a very important question to start off our first session. "Are you really ready for love?"
"Of course I am!" , she replied. "That's why I hired you, to help me create a great mindset to attract the man of my dreams."
For the next 30 minutes she rambled on and on about what a great catch she was. She owned several homes and condominiums, had worked for the same firm for 30 years,and was a self made woman that all men should respect. Her last relationship ended in betrayal, but that was 12 months ago and she was just glad to have that loser out of her life. She had almost started dating someone right after that relationship ended, but he began some strange behavior, stalking her in a way online.
While her ex-husband was still in the picture , it was only because they had 4 children together. He was nothing but a pain in her side, constantly giving her grief.
I asked her about her family, which she tried to skirt around, until she finally admitted that she had not talked to her mother in many years, and that her greatest accomplishment was that she did not end up like her in any way at all. As a matter of fact, she had hoped to never speak to her again, and refused visits with her children, as she felt her mother would be a bad influence on them.
She then proceeded to tell me that she did not trust people very easily, as most were not to be trusted. She just wanted to meet the man that would make her life complete. The man that would show her children what it meant to be a good father figure. A man that she could finally trust, as the ones up to now she could not.
What followed after her monologue was not what she wanted to hear, although it was the truth.
"I honestly can say, that I believe you are ready to begin your healing work but you are not ready for a real love relationship. Love, real love, demands that your heart is open, that you trust until you have a reason not to, that you are emotionally free of your past relationships, and that you have come to closure with your family of origin issues."
I could hear her tapping her finger on the table, totally frustrated with the news she was getting.
"By the tone of your voice, you cannot stand your ex-husband, and you still have resentments against your ex-boyfriend who betrayed you somehow. And, there is unfinished business with your mother, as when you talk about her, your voice tone totally changes. "
"You don't understand", she replied, "my ex-husband harasses me weekly and the ex-boyfriend stole money from me, and lied repeatedly. I just want to meet a great guy, finally, once and for all."
"I know you may not appreciate this, but we attract in the dating world the same type of people, with the same energy, that we currently are/have. Until you change, and fully forgive your ex-husband and ex- boyfriend, you will continue to attract the same type of people. Truthfully, any healthy man you might meet right now would walk away from you, because they would see, or feel, your drama and unfinished business."
I continued.
"The best thing right now for you, would be to NOT date at all. Take this time to work on yourself, to heal, to forgive even your mother. If you do this, you will find love. If you do not, you'll continue to create chaos and drama in your relationships."
Of course if she wanted to date, I knew she would, regardless of what I might be sharing with her. I have coached women in a similar situation who have dated while they healed, but they did so as close friends, never going into a full blown relationship. Possible, but not easy for many.
I left her with a "prescription" that I write about in the book "Slow Down". Take six months to 1 year, and work with a therapist, coach or minister each week to finally learn how to love yourself and others through forgiveness and acceptance. We will be ready for love if we clean up our past. If we don't, we'll continue to live it in every new relationship.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone after I had asked my client a very important question to start off our first session. "Are you really ready for love?"
"Of course I am!" , she replied. "That's why I hired you, to help me create a great mindset to attract the man of my dreams."
For the next 30 minutes she rambled on and on about what a great catch she was. She owned several homes and condominiums, had worked for the same firm for 30 years,and was a self made woman that all men should respect. Her last relationship ended in betrayal, but that was 12 months ago and she was just glad to have that loser out of her life. She had almost started dating someone right after that relationship ended, but he began some strange behavior, stalking her in a way online.
While her ex-husband was still in the picture , it was only because they had 4 children together. He was nothing but a pain in her side, constantly giving her grief.
I asked her about her family, which she tried to skirt around, until she finally admitted that she had not talked to her mother in many years, and that her greatest accomplishment was that she did not end up like her in any way at all. As a matter of fact, she had hoped to never speak to her again, and refused visits with her children, as she felt her mother would be a bad influence on them.
She then proceeded to tell me that she did not trust people very easily, as most were not to be trusted. She just wanted to meet the man that would make her life complete. The man that would show her children what it meant to be a good father figure. A man that she could finally trust, as the ones up to now she could not.
What followed after her monologue was not what she wanted to hear, although it was the truth.
"I honestly can say, that I believe you are ready to begin your healing work but you are not ready for a real love relationship. Love, real love, demands that your heart is open, that you trust until you have a reason not to, that you are emotionally free of your past relationships, and that you have come to closure with your family of origin issues."
I could hear her tapping her finger on the table, totally frustrated with the news she was getting.
"By the tone of your voice, you cannot stand your ex-husband, and you still have resentments against your ex-boyfriend who betrayed you somehow. And, there is unfinished business with your mother, as when you talk about her, your voice tone totally changes. "
"You don't understand", she replied, "my ex-husband harasses me weekly and the ex-boyfriend stole money from me, and lied repeatedly. I just want to meet a great guy, finally, once and for all."
"I know you may not appreciate this, but we attract in the dating world the same type of people, with the same energy, that we currently are/have. Until you change, and fully forgive your ex-husband and ex- boyfriend, you will continue to attract the same type of people. Truthfully, any healthy man you might meet right now would walk away from you, because they would see, or feel, your drama and unfinished business."
I continued.
"The best thing right now for you, would be to NOT date at all. Take this time to work on yourself, to heal, to forgive even your mother. If you do this, you will find love. If you do not, you'll continue to create chaos and drama in your relationships."
Of course if she wanted to date, I knew she would, regardless of what I might be sharing with her. I have coached women in a similar situation who have dated while they healed, but they did so as close friends, never going into a full blown relationship. Possible, but not easy for many.
I left her with a "prescription" that I write about in the book "Slow Down". Take six months to 1 year, and work with a therapist, coach or minister each week to finally learn how to love yourself and others through forgiveness and acceptance. We will be ready for love if we clean up our past. If we don't, we'll continue to live it in every new relationship.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sexuality, Intimacy & You Series
Next Date: July 24th, 2009 - Friday 6-9pm
The topic of sexuality and intimacy is one of the most important issues in our lives, and yet for many it's one that is rarely if ever discussed. While we may feel brave to openly discuss our political or religious views, to often we shy away from exploring our intimate and sexual needs and desires.
What does sexuality mean to you? What does it mean to be truly intimate with yourself and/or another? Is it ok to take care of your sexual needs by yourself even if you are currently in a relationship? Can you openly share your sexual desires with your partner, even if they have no interest in fulfilling them? How do you fulfill your partners desires for true intimacy? Do you even know what they are?
And if you're currently single, how do you get your basic human needs for intimacy and sexuality met? Or are you waiting for someone else to meet them? And if you are, is this the healthiest way to live?
Right now, slow down and take a piece of paper and answer the questions asked in this article. See if you truly do know, or have even explored, the importance of this area of your life. Too many clients that I have worked with over the years have neglected to even try to gain insight into their own as well as their partners beliefs about the topics of sexuality and intimacy, and have watched their love fade due to the neglect of needs and desires.
Yes, I am asking you to be open and vulnerable. And yes, it is in this state that the most amazing experiences of life truly exist. Let's all reach this place together.
Join David for a new dynamic 3-hour workshop which covers information that will offer exciting breakthroughs in how we approach sexuality and intimacy as it relates to self love and acceptance, as well as our ability to love others more deeply.
Many of us shy away from talking about our own sexual needs whether we are currently alone or in a relationship with another. David's philosophy revolves around the concept that if we can begin to approach our feelings about sexuality and intimacy more freely, we then can use this newfound awareness to deepen our love of self, something that many people today struggle with deeply.
"Our gift of intimacy is one to cherish, acknowledge and explore if we are to continue our path to living a more aware, awakened life. It's exciting to see a liberated freedom for people who have explored their passion for intimacy, sexuality and love, and how this freedom positively affects every area of their lives."
Cost: $35 per person. To Sign up call 941-266-7676, or visit http://www.davidessel.com
Workshops hosted at: Church of Spiritual Light, 1939 Park Meadows Drive, Unit 1, Fort Myers, Fl 33907
Next Date: July 24th, 2009 - Friday 6-9pm
The topic of sexuality and intimacy is one of the most important issues in our lives, and yet for many it's one that is rarely if ever discussed. While we may feel brave to openly discuss our political or religious views, to often we shy away from exploring our intimate and sexual needs and desires.
What does sexuality mean to you? What does it mean to be truly intimate with yourself and/or another? Is it ok to take care of your sexual needs by yourself even if you are currently in a relationship? Can you openly share your sexual desires with your partner, even if they have no interest in fulfilling them? How do you fulfill your partners desires for true intimacy? Do you even know what they are?
And if you're currently single, how do you get your basic human needs for intimacy and sexuality met? Or are you waiting for someone else to meet them? And if you are, is this the healthiest way to live?
Right now, slow down and take a piece of paper and answer the questions asked in this article. See if you truly do know, or have even explored, the importance of this area of your life. Too many clients that I have worked with over the years have neglected to even try to gain insight into their own as well as their partners beliefs about the topics of sexuality and intimacy, and have watched their love fade due to the neglect of needs and desires.
Yes, I am asking you to be open and vulnerable. And yes, it is in this state that the most amazing experiences of life truly exist. Let's all reach this place together.
Join David for a new dynamic 3-hour workshop which covers information that will offer exciting breakthroughs in how we approach sexuality and intimacy as it relates to self love and acceptance, as well as our ability to love others more deeply.
Many of us shy away from talking about our own sexual needs whether we are currently alone or in a relationship with another. David's philosophy revolves around the concept that if we can begin to approach our feelings about sexuality and intimacy more freely, we then can use this newfound awareness to deepen our love of self, something that many people today struggle with deeply.
"Our gift of intimacy is one to cherish, acknowledge and explore if we are to continue our path to living a more aware, awakened life. It's exciting to see a liberated freedom for people who have explored their passion for intimacy, sexuality and love, and how this freedom positively affects every area of their lives."
Cost: $35 per person. To Sign up call 941-266-7676, or visit http://www.davidessel.com
Workshops hosted at: Church of Spiritual Light, 1939 Park Meadows Drive, Unit 1, Fort Myers, Fl 33907
Next Date: July 24th, 2009 - Friday 6-9pm
Saturday, June 27, 2009
What is the cause of our daily struggles and challenges?..
The cause of our suffering, our daily struggles and challenges in life can be easily linked to the Second Noble Truth of Buddhism : "Our suffering is caused by our cravings, our desire that life be different than it is at this moment." (Paraphrased by this writer).
Isn't this the simple truth? We suffer, we become unhappy on a daily basis, because life , our partner, our money, our career, our health, our faith is not what we hoped it might be at this time in our life. Period.
It is amazing how much drama and crisis we create because life is not what we think it should be. "Life", by the way, could care less what we want, or what we desire. "Life" is just doing it's job, being itself, and very happy at this very moment I might add.
In my conversations with so many people, when it gets down to the truth, they will often say things like, "if my husband would just quit drinking......if I just had more money....if I had been raised by a sane parent.....if I only had a partner...if God would just for once answer my prayers....if men were'nt all dogs...if I could just lose 30 pounds...". Of course the list is endless, but you get the picture.
We have the audacity to think that if life was just different than it is at this moment, we'd be happy. What a line of crap! I say this with sincere respect to all who think life would be a piece of cake if this one thing was different, because until we get to the root of craving, of the addiction to our desires, nothing will ever make us happy for any length of time.
How do I know this to be true? Because, I too have struggled with the concept of true and lasting inner peace. And what continues to raise it's little head is the fact that once this "one" little desire that we have is fulfilled, we'll find another issue that needs to be resolved to be "truly" happy. It's an endless cycle, or so it seems to be.
"Well, yes, my husband finally quit drinking, but I just wish he'd find a way to earn a decent income." And the list begins to build all over again.
Now, don't get me wrong, it's totally appropriate and healthy to have desires to improve our place in life. The problem arises when we crave the desire, and put our happiness on the back of getting that desire fulfilled. We truly will never find lasting happiness, as long as it depends on something outside of what we have right now. In this very moment.
It seems that all of the greatest teachers in this world, from Buddha, to Christ and more have all preached the same thing. " Be happy where you are at this very moment, accept where you are at this very moment, and happiness, peace, Heaven, bliss, will be at your door. "
Slow down.Find a way to experience peace right here, in this moment , right now.
Pray, meditate, write a gratitude list. Be present.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Isn't this the simple truth? We suffer, we become unhappy on a daily basis, because life , our partner, our money, our career, our health, our faith is not what we hoped it might be at this time in our life. Period.
It is amazing how much drama and crisis we create because life is not what we think it should be. "Life", by the way, could care less what we want, or what we desire. "Life" is just doing it's job, being itself, and very happy at this very moment I might add.
In my conversations with so many people, when it gets down to the truth, they will often say things like, "if my husband would just quit drinking......if I just had more money....if I had been raised by a sane parent.....if I only had a partner...if God would just for once answer my prayers....if men were'nt all dogs...if I could just lose 30 pounds...". Of course the list is endless, but you get the picture.
We have the audacity to think that if life was just different than it is at this moment, we'd be happy. What a line of crap! I say this with sincere respect to all who think life would be a piece of cake if this one thing was different, because until we get to the root of craving, of the addiction to our desires, nothing will ever make us happy for any length of time.
How do I know this to be true? Because, I too have struggled with the concept of true and lasting inner peace. And what continues to raise it's little head is the fact that once this "one" little desire that we have is fulfilled, we'll find another issue that needs to be resolved to be "truly" happy. It's an endless cycle, or so it seems to be.
"Well, yes, my husband finally quit drinking, but I just wish he'd find a way to earn a decent income." And the list begins to build all over again.
Now, don't get me wrong, it's totally appropriate and healthy to have desires to improve our place in life. The problem arises when we crave the desire, and put our happiness on the back of getting that desire fulfilled. We truly will never find lasting happiness, as long as it depends on something outside of what we have right now. In this very moment.
It seems that all of the greatest teachers in this world, from Buddha, to Christ and more have all preached the same thing. " Be happy where you are at this very moment, accept where you are at this very moment, and happiness, peace, Heaven, bliss, will be at your door. "
Slow down.Find a way to experience peace right here, in this moment , right now.
Pray, meditate, write a gratitude list. Be present.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Divine, Music, and Steely Dan
If you've ever wondered what the combination of The Divine and music would look and sound like, you will experience it in person by attending a Steely Dan concert or listening to one of their many CD's. Heaven on earth has occured through the gifts of these amazing musicians.
Of course this is not the only band it will occur through, but I must say they have tapped into the source of all creativity, some would call this source God, as they take the stage. It is such a transcending experience, one that I just had occur to me tonite.
I have always been a huge fan of Steely Dan, but had never seen them live. As they took the stage, I knew something special was about to occur. Without the addition of alcohol or drugs,and within 5 minutes, I could feel the tears start to form, my body filled with the energy of spirit , as the 10 musicians and singers who back up founders Walter Becker and Donald Fagan began to merge into one. Horns, keyboards, drums, guitars, and 3 backup female singers all somehow merging into one powerful form that was impossible to decipher at points who was doing what. Seemingly impossible arrangements made effortless by these 12 angels of music, stirring the heart , soul and body until everyone was moving , clapping, simply mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
As my emotion poured out, I consciously connected with all that was occuring , and that's when it hit me. This was an example of The Divine, earthbound, moving us in the direction of onneness, love, through music.
Now if we are not looking for God on earth, we would go to any concert and simply experience a good concert. If, however, we dare to look for the Divine everywhere, we shall find Her in a concert hall filled with Steely Dan fans.(Or fill in your favorite group here, S>D> does not have a lock on the God experience as far as I know.)
"Look and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open..", yes, look for the Divine in music, and you just might find Him in your favorite Steely Dan song.Feel your emotions well up, laugh , sing, shout , clap as the entire hall was doing tonite. A mass of humans in sync, expressing the joy of this transcendent experience together. Pure love in motion.
Rock on God, rock on.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Of course this is not the only band it will occur through, but I must say they have tapped into the source of all creativity, some would call this source God, as they take the stage. It is such a transcending experience, one that I just had occur to me tonite.
I have always been a huge fan of Steely Dan, but had never seen them live. As they took the stage, I knew something special was about to occur. Without the addition of alcohol or drugs,and within 5 minutes, I could feel the tears start to form, my body filled with the energy of spirit , as the 10 musicians and singers who back up founders Walter Becker and Donald Fagan began to merge into one. Horns, keyboards, drums, guitars, and 3 backup female singers all somehow merging into one powerful form that was impossible to decipher at points who was doing what. Seemingly impossible arrangements made effortless by these 12 angels of music, stirring the heart , soul and body until everyone was moving , clapping, simply mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
As my emotion poured out, I consciously connected with all that was occuring , and that's when it hit me. This was an example of The Divine, earthbound, moving us in the direction of onneness, love, through music.
Now if we are not looking for God on earth, we would go to any concert and simply experience a good concert. If, however, we dare to look for the Divine everywhere, we shall find Her in a concert hall filled with Steely Dan fans.(Or fill in your favorite group here, S>D> does not have a lock on the God experience as far as I know.)
"Look and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open..", yes, look for the Divine in music, and you just might find Him in your favorite Steely Dan song.Feel your emotions well up, laugh , sing, shout , clap as the entire hall was doing tonite. A mass of humans in sync, expressing the joy of this transcendent experience together. Pure love in motion.
Rock on God, rock on.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Failing In Order to Succeed
One of the greatest facts in life is that if we truly desire success, we're going to have to accept failure as a part of the process of being successful. For many in the new thought world, who want to simply keep their mind on "positive thinking", this will be blasphemy. Yet, it is the truth.
As a motivational speaker and author, I can tell you that I too fought this truth for many, many years. Until one day, I simply surrendered to the fact that failing is a part of the process of living. . A part of life. And , proof that I am truly living. For if I do attempt something and fail, at least I know I'm out there doing something to improve my life.
In love, dating, dating, and more dating, regardless how many times it takes, can lead us to the beautiful depths of love. Playing it safe never can lead us anywhere but where we are. In business, taking chances, risks is inevitable in order to grow a business or career. With our health, staying at home where it's safe will continue giving you the body you have right now, but taking a risk and going to a gym when you are out of shape will give you the best shot at changing your body to one you love.
Praying and not receiving the answer you want, is so much better than not praying at all! Letting go of alcohol, smoking, or overeating for the 100th time is so much better than giving up! Yes, Virginia, there is success after failing, but there is no further success possible without trying.
Look at your life right now, and write down what you'd love to see changed. What one change would bring the greatest happiness and success into your life? Now, what risks do you need to take on a daily basis to go after this change? Write down those steps and take them 5 days per week. Risk to grow, risk to succeed.
Do not delay. Do not wait for a better time in your life to go after what you truly want. Read about the people before us who have achieved great things, and what they had to go through to accomplish their goals. For anyone in life who has created the deepest of love, millions of dollars, or an amazing body, there was an equal outlay of effort on their part. Let's join their team and create success, by risking the potential of failure in order to succeed in life.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
As a motivational speaker and author, I can tell you that I too fought this truth for many, many years. Until one day, I simply surrendered to the fact that failing is a part of the process of living. . A part of life. And , proof that I am truly living. For if I do attempt something and fail, at least I know I'm out there doing something to improve my life.
In love, dating, dating, and more dating, regardless how many times it takes, can lead us to the beautiful depths of love. Playing it safe never can lead us anywhere but where we are. In business, taking chances, risks is inevitable in order to grow a business or career. With our health, staying at home where it's safe will continue giving you the body you have right now, but taking a risk and going to a gym when you are out of shape will give you the best shot at changing your body to one you love.
Praying and not receiving the answer you want, is so much better than not praying at all! Letting go of alcohol, smoking, or overeating for the 100th time is so much better than giving up! Yes, Virginia, there is success after failing, but there is no further success possible without trying.
Look at your life right now, and write down what you'd love to see changed. What one change would bring the greatest happiness and success into your life? Now, what risks do you need to take on a daily basis to go after this change? Write down those steps and take them 5 days per week. Risk to grow, risk to succeed.
Do not delay. Do not wait for a better time in your life to go after what you truly want. Read about the people before us who have achieved great things, and what they had to go through to accomplish their goals. For anyone in life who has created the deepest of love, millions of dollars, or an amazing body, there was an equal outlay of effort on their part. Let's join their team and create success, by risking the potential of failure in order to succeed in life.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel http://www.davidessel.com
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