Sunday, May 31, 2009

Risking it All for Love: Never Play It Safe

As we examine the reason for our existence on planet Earth, it has become easier to see over the years that it truly is all about the quest for love, and with this as the conclusion for the reason for living, we should never play it safe when it comes to exploring the path to love.

Over the past 24 years, I have worked with so many people who were filled with resentment at a former partner, or a parent, and while hanging onto the anger at someone who could not love them, lost their own ability to love. They became isolated from the heart down. Bitter at the opposite sex. They created all kinds of excuses as to why it was better to be alone, then even try their hand at love again. They played it so safe when it came to love, that they missed out on the whole reason for living.

We are here to love. To love ourselves, yes even with all of our faults, and then to love another. And if that doesn't work, another. And another. And then another. You see there are no reasons to stop growing in love, to stop taking risks for the ultimate prize:love.

Love offers no guarantee that it will last, yet it is the "Holy Grail" in life. The love a dog shows it's owner is simply perfect. The smile that naturally grows as you are about to see your baby as it wakes up. The excitement that comes in a new relationship, the anticipation of the first kiss of the day, abounds in love.

Never playing it safe also means loving someone deeply even when they don;t return the favor immediately. It means dropping the scorecard in love. If they haven't returned your call, you call again and leave a beautiful message. You ask for their help in picking up the dishes after dinner, and then do it yourself if their own anger at any issue between you stops them from helping. Instead of playing it safe, and dropping back in your giving of love to your partner when they have decreased the love they are showing you, you keep on loving at the level you were meant to: full out love.

What I'm discussing here is radical to the small ego. The side of us that wants to be right versus kind. That wants to play it safe instead of loving unconditionally.It's time to love for the sake of loving. It's time to go out and date, right now, instead of waiting for years for your heart to heal. The victim mentality that follows a nasty breakup, or unkind treatment should not stop us from the freedom real love brings.

If you are hurting from love, get help, then get back in the game. Whether you're 20, 50, or 90, love for the sake of loving. Love for the sake of living, after all, it's the only reason we are here to begin with.

You can play it safe when you're dead, but since you're reading this right now, risk looking like the fool for love. Live ,live with passion, abandon, and love. Live, love for your hearts sake now, as well as every living being on this planet. We all need to be inspired, by you. Don't let us, you, or your partner down. Live with love now.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Powerful Speaking and Presentation Skills

Anyone who truly wants to become an average, good or great public speaker can develop the powerful speaking and presentation skills needed to do this in just a few short weeks, if they truly desire to change.

I know without a doubt that the two most important skills that we all need to develop to create a more successful life are :

1) Polished speaking/communication skills

2) Enhanced writing/communication skills.

We recently ended my 3 week Public Speaking Certification Course at Florida Gulf Coast University and the results were nothing short of dramatic. People who were literally petrified at week one of getting up in front of ANYONE and speaking for ten seconds, we holding the audiences attention with thrilling two minute speeches in just 3 classes!

As they prepare for their final 10 minute presentation, I see a class that has grown together, and an increase in self confidence that will last a lifetime.

"David's Public Speaking Certification course not only gives you techniques for sound and stimulating public speaking, but can help you build the confidence to do it with ease.

From the elevator speech to the lecture hall, David will guide you through the processes that can help you tap into your innate ability to use your voice, your words and your passion to deliver your message in a way that will engage and enthrall your audiences, both large and small.

If you currently work in the world of non-profit, education, finance, healthcare or the service industries...this course will help take you and your organization to the next level. If you are looking for a career shift, David Essel's Public Speaking Certification through FGCU is a powerful way to enhance your job prospecting opportunities. "

Please vist for more information on the next class at FGCU. If you'd like to work with David in person or over the phone to enhace your own speaking and communication skills, visit our site or call him directly at 941 266 7676.

David Essel has been a professional motivational speaker and presenter for over 24 years and is the author of, Slow Down: The Fastest Way to Get Everything You Want (Hay House Publishing 2004). His clients include fortune 500 companies such as Boeing, American Express, Nestle, Lifetime Television, Chico's, March of Dimes and many more.

Anyone can recover from ANY Addiction!

Recovery from any addiction is possible, and we are seeing on a daily basis results that are saving lives, families and institutions from the ravages of addiction.

Everyone, right now, is addicted to something. For some it's a substance, others, it's the need to control life, or to be liked by everyone. For others, it's the addiction to the "day" when all will be great. Like when they have more money, or they have lost weight, or have a partner. You can fill in the blanks here, but this addiction is a very powerful one.

I began my work in helping people to heal from addictions 20 years ago, and everyday I get the chance to see people reclaiming their lives. It is simply beautiful, simply miraculous.

This work helps to create a total mind, body, spirit based recovery system for each individual based on their specific needs and circumstances. Nutrition, spiritual practices, exercise, emotional support systems and even financial management are all included to ensure the ultimate success for each individual.

The face of addiction is ever changing, and the shame of admitting that we even have an addiction of any type keeps millions of people in the USA chained to habits, substances and behaviors that keeps them from living a joyful happy and successful life for years and years. Through the power of our life coaching program, this does not have to be the case anymore.

My personal recovery began in 1996, and continues to this very day. And will joyously continue to be a part of my daily routine for the rest of my life. I use the word "joyously" , as I has seen the impossible happen. Where once I could not have imagined a day without alcohol or drug use, I now enthusiastically approach each day with passion and wonder, and love to help others to do the same.

Over the past 20 years, this program has helped thousands of people become free of every type of addiction imaginable, including but not limited to :

Alcohol Addiction
Drugs & Substances such as cocaine, marijuana, nicotine & prescription
Relationships & Codependency
Self Image & Esteem Issues
Persistent or Returning Negative Thoughts & Attitude
Attachment, phobia and repression

My path has led me to experience both traditional and non traditional forms of recovery, and feel blessed to be able to offer my clients a unique combination of both in this uniquely crafted recovery program. The reasons behind addiction to substances, negative thinking, sex, food, greed, wealth, shopping or control may be similar or vastly different between each client, but the path to freedom will be the same for all. Self knowledge, surrender, education, action, and application combined with an open mind. I can help you learn how to:

Build a deeper spiritual foundation
Deal with crisis and chaos
Manage stress
Overcome Procrastination
Improve Communication at home or work
Heal from the loss of a love relationship
Rebuild after divorce or loss of a love relationship

Through the power of both talk and written coaching practices, each person discovers not just the "whys" of their addiction, but also the "how's" needed to move to a new existence.

Our compassion and confidentiality for each client is unsurpassed, as through my own daily recovery I knows firsthand the importance of having a support system in place that really cares. And yes, I really do care deeply about every person I work with.

We know that because of the fact that you are reading this right now, that today is the day to make the call, and begin your own process to finally get on the road to freedom, the road to recovery, that is available today for everyone.

I would be honored to work with you in your recovery and help you bring in the happiness, success, peace, and health that you deserve.

Your new path is simply a phone call away: 941-266-7676. Let us show you the way. Whether we do this in person or over the phone, the results will be the same:Freedom,Success.

"I am so grateful for the tools, wisdom, and courage that you provided to help me solve my dependency to alcohol. My 8 weeks with you provided everything that I needed to quit when nothing else had worked in my many past attempts to stop drinking. After 18 years of alcohol addiction, I am now happily sober and loving life. I still thank you every day."
— Andy

"Working with David on sexual addictions has transformed my life. I no longer dwell in guilt and self disgust from my behavior. I am able to experience the overwhelming emotion, accept it for what it is and let it go. This change did not happen overnight, it is something that I work on moment by moment. By applying the tools I received I am learning to love and accept myself and am taking a deeper look into the cause of the addiction, not the addiction itself. The investment of time and money in working with David has brought about a change in many areas of my life. I highly recommend his work, he has been a vehicle of Gods love and blessings to me."
— Wendy

Friday, May 22, 2009

Sexuality, Intimacy and You

The topic of sexuality and intimacy is one of the most important issues in our lives, and yet for many it's one that is rarely if ever discussed. While we may feel brave to openly discuss our political or religious views, to often we shy away from exploring our intimate and sexual needs and desires.

What does sexuality mean to you? What does it mean to be truly intimate with yourself and/or another? Is it ok to take care of your sexual needs by yourself even if you are currently in a relationship? Can you openly share your sexual desires with your partner, even if they have no interest in fulfilling them? How do you fulfill your partners desires for true intimacy? Do you even know what they are?

And if you're currently single, how do you get your basic human needs for intimacy and sexuality met? Or are you waiting for someone else to meet them? And if you are, is this the healthiest way to live?

Right now, slow down and take a piece of paper and answer the questions asked in this article. See if you truly do know, or have even explored, the importance of this area of your life. Too many clients that I have worked with over the years have neglected to even try to gain insight into their own as well as their partners beliefs about the topics of sexuality and intimacy, and have watched their love fade due to the neglect of needs and desires.

Yes, I am asking you to be open and vulnerable. And yes, it is in this state that the most amazing experiences of life truly exist. Let's all reach this place together.

Join David for a new dynamic 3-hour workshop which covers information that will offer exciting breakthroughs in how we approach sexuality and intimacy as it relates to self love and acceptance, as well as our ability to love others more deeply.

Many of us shy away from talking about our own sexual needs whether we are currently alone or in a relationship with another. David's philosophy revolves around the concept that if we can begin to approach our feelings about sexuality and intimacy more freely, we then can use this newfound awareness to deepen our love of self, something that many people today struggle with deeply.

"Our gift of intimacy is one to cherish, acknowledge and explore if we are to continue our path to living a more aware, awakened life. It's exciting to see a liberated freedom for people who have explored their passion for intimacy, sexuality and love, and how this freedom positively affects every area of their lives."

Cost: $35 per person. To Sign up call 941-266-7676, or visit

Friday, May 15, 2009

Is it alright to be angry at God?

My client was filled with absolute guilt and rage, as she tried to deal with the anger that she held against God. "Is it ok to be this mad at God? For all that he's done, and hasn't done?"

I had been down this road many times before with clients who had a very good reason, or reasons, to be very upset, and yes even filled with rage against God. They all professed the same resentment, though filled with guilt at some level too, as their religious upbringing had told them not to be pissed at God.

For those raised in a more fundamental family, God would get angry at you for being angry at God. And no one wants a God throwing his wrath their way. So, these people would eat their anger, eat and submerge the guilt they had, so as not to provoke the wrath of God in any way possible. They would turn into control freaks, alcoholics, or become abusive emotionally or physically towards their partners or children, as well as towards theme selves.

For those raised in a more traditional household, they would be taught the lesson of pure guilt, which often then turns them into the victim in life. With God, they must not be good enough for Him to love them as He does others. This low self esteem makes them perfect targets for the control freaks in life, whether that be in the form of a boss, lover or parent. Nothing ever goes their way. They never get the breaks other people get. They wallow in their misery, always blaming someone else, or the economy, or genetics, for the lousy life they have.

In both cases, regardless of what type of family they were raised in, getting mad at God was not a viable option. The client who sat in front of me had watched their child die. They wanted so badly to be mad at God, but held back expressing this to anyone but a professional behind closed doors.

Years before, I worked with a young lady who had watched her younger sister get killed instantly right in front of her. She had held in her rage against God for 30 years before we started working together. And for many weeks did not want to even mention the anger she had at Him.

Regardless of what we are taught, and by whom, I believe it is totally normal, and yes even ok to be mad at God. To be filled with rage at God. To scream at God for all the reasons that you might have. I even encourage clients to express this rage in writing, with a letter to God telling Him, Her, how you truly feel.

The alternative to expressing these emotions is unacceptable. To submerge emotions is the pathway to emotional and physical death. If anyone can handle your rage against God, it's God!

In every instance, shortly after releasing their anger at god, my clients have begun their own healing process. The rage begins to subside, and eventually becomes dull ache. The ache stays for as long as it needs to, sometimes fluctuating to pain and then back again to a dull throb, before in transforms into something lighter. As is often the case, the persons spiritual or religious path returns, sometimes in a totally new direction, one they would have never followed without the release of their anger at God.

Today is the best day to begin your quest if you have anger at God. Waiting will not solve a thing. Being a "good boy, girl, christian " and submerging your anger will get you nowhere. Release your anger so that you can be the complete person you were meant to be, here, now.

In my work and life, I have found God to be able to handle anything a human can do or say, and to be filled with forgiveness and love towards us at ALL times, for any reason.

Slow down.

Love, peace, Rev. David Essel. http//

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Benefits of Slowing Down Today

Our world continues to evolve at lightening speed, yet there are huge benefits to acting today in the opposite fashion when we slow down.

Slow down. Yes, slow down.

As you drive through your city, look for sights you have not noticed before. Listen for birds singing.

As you look at your partner today, stare into their eyes with no words spoken. As you kiss, feel the softness of their lips and hold that in your mind, heart and soul.

As someone speaks to you, put your full attention on each word, then repeat their statement to them.

Look into the mirror for 60 seconds, and feel gratitude for all that you are, the unique expression of the universal divine, wrapped in you, as only you can do it.

Slow down.

Peace, love, David Essel

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Joy of Being Silent in Conversation..An Oxymoron?

When I mentioned to a friend the other day that sometimes I really enjoy being with someone and not talking, simply being present with them where, the conversation dwindles and we are just in each others energy, she looked at me and said, "What? You mean being silent in conversation? David, that's an oxymoron."

And she was right. Like "jumbo shrimp", the combining thoughts of "silence" and "conversation" initially don't seem to make sense. But a deeper look opens up a whole new world of existing.

To be fully present, fully in the moment, is what everyone strives for , even if we don't know it. When we are with someone in verbal conversation, it's not always easy to be fully present. As they are speaking, most of us are at the very least subconsciously thinking about our response.

And while that's not necessarily a bad thing at all, if we want to go deeper in relationship with someone, if we truly desire to connect with them at "all " levels, we'll have to go to a place where there are no words spoken, yet the communication continues.

This place is very uncomfortable for most of us, as it exposes a vulnerability that we'd rather not experience. To be next to someone, maybe looking into their eyes, maybe holding their hands, maybe just looking away at a sunset or other people, and not speaking, takes confidence, security, and a real sense of self. To stay mentally and emotionally connected, to let your soul speak to theirs without words is one of the highest levels of communication that we'll ever experience.

In essence we're saying, "I want all of you. I want to sit in your energy, no words spoken and "feel" all that you have to say. "

Some of us can go there naturally, but in my work and my personal life , I've seen it happen most easily if we make a conscious decision with a friend or lover to create this opportunity in our lives. Where we actually talk about sitting together, for the next 5 minutes, and just experience each other at another level.

To take it a step further, if you want to do this with your partner, create a space while you're making love to do the very same thing. Slow your movements way down, ask your partner for a connection where no words are spoken, and instead feel their love as you gently make love. Stare into each others eyes, and communicate by sending love, yet without your need to do so with any form of verbal language.

Through silence, we can learn to communicate and feel our friends or partners energy at a whole new level. We can learn to experience a deeper connection, where in the stillness, love and respect reside. Where our heart learns to open wider, while no words are shared. Where we expose ourselves initially to a moment or two of feeling uncomfortable, maybe even to the point of embarrassment and laughter, to get to the core of who we are, and who they are: pure love.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt that this can create a new found depth and magic in any and all relationships that you would like to enhance. But it will only work if you try it.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David Essel